She's probably in a Bentley
showing off her new fake boobies
tryin' to break into the movies
with some producer
who seduced her
with some sushi and cologne

She's probably down on Sunset
doin' all the things that she ain't done yet
with some actor she calls Hector
man I wish he meet Phil Spector
and he'd ask to take her home

She's lovin' Californ-i-Am
she loves the beach
she loves to party everyday
Piña Coladas on the sidewalk in L.A.
ever since she went away
I hate California

Maybe she's livin' in a commune
dancin' with Hippies under the moon
it's all free love, weed and patchouli
and there's a guru named Visuli
and he's doin' her for sure

Maybe she's scummin' some big rap star
drinkin' pink Cosmos at the Sky Bar
those Hollyweirdos with their tofu, avocado
I bet she think she won the lotto good for her

She's lovin' Californ-i-Am
she loves the beach
she loves to party everyday
Piña Coladas on the sidewalk in L.A.
ever since she went away
I hate California

I think I seen her on TV
last night on TMZ
with the pretty people on parade
she's sellin' Scientology with John, Tommy and Katie
man I guess she's really got it made

She's lovin' Californ-i-Am
that string bikini and the sunshine on her face

She's lovin' Californ-i-Am
she loves the beach
she loves to party everyday
Piña Coladas on the sidewalk in L.A.
ever since she went away
I hate California