Good morning Mister, snip snip snip
With your hair cut just as short as mine
Good morning Mister, snip snip snip
With your hair cut just as short as mine

Bay Rum, Lucky Tiger, Butch Wax, Crackerjacks
Shoe shine, jaw breaker, magazine racks
Hangin' round the barber shop, a side-burnin' close crop
Mornin' Mr. Furgeson, what's the good word with ya?
Stayin' out of trouble like a good boy should
I see you're still cuttin' hair, I'm still cuttin' classes
I got a couple passes to the Ringle Bros. Barn Bail circus afternoon

You lost a little round the middle and you're lookin' real good
Sittin' on the wagon 'stead of under the hood
What's the low-down, Mr. Brown, I heard your boy's leavin' town?
I bought myself a Struggle Buggy, sucker's powder blue
Throw me over th' sports page, Cincinnati lookin' good
I always been for Pittsburgh, and I lay you 10 to 1
The Pirates get the pennant and the series 'fore their done
The hair's gettin' longer, you know the skirts are gettin' shorter
And don't you know that you can get a cheaper haircut if you wanna cross the border
If your mama saw you smokin', well she'd kick your ass
Now you put it out, you juvenile, and put it out fast
Well, if I had a million dollars, what would I do?
I'd probably be a barber, not a bum like you
Still got your paper route, now that's just fine
And you can pay me double, 'cause you gypped me last time

And don't you know that you can keep a little circus money and spend it on a girl
And just remember that I give the best haircuts in the whole wide world
I give the best haircuts in the whole wide world

Good morning Mister, snip snip snip
With your hair cut just as short as mine
Good morning Mister, snip snip snip
With your hair cut just as short
You got your hair cut just as short
You got your hair cut just as short as mine