I am an anarchist, an antichrist, an asterisk.
I am an anorak, an acolyte, an accidental.
I am eleven feet, okay - eight. Six foot three...
I fought the British and I won!
I have a rocketship, a jet fighter,
A paper airplane - yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh!

Say what you will: I am the kill!
The only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real!

I have a tendency to exaggerate,
Just a little bit. I am a plagiarist,
Apologist, a lawless calculator, ah oh.
I am an optimist, a closeted misogynist...
I fought the British and I won!
I have a wishing well, a living will,
A magical eight ball - yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh!

Say what you will
I am the kill
The only thing that keeps you really truly safe from being real

(Put Pat Sajak back in office)
Put Pat Sajak back!

But the sun still sets on you
And the retarded party nobody came to but you
And so you drink to all the emptiness until you wake up
And there's hell to pay again
And the punch line point at you
And all the comebacks in the world are in your head
But you can't say them until everybody leaves -
And it's just you and your imaginary friends...
Your imaginary friends...
Your imaginary friends...