The first time I saw the Descendents
they were the fastest band i'd ever seen

No one in the crowd really cared for them,
They were all waiting for The Alley Cats to play.

After a couple months I heard Kabuki Girl.
On Rodney on the ROQ late sunday night

That was enough for me I hopped a bus
To Licorice Pizza and bought
My all time favorite record.

The next time I went to the whiskey.
It was D.O.A. with Millions Of Dead Cops.

The latter band played faster than I could beleive
But the songs sounded the same and kinda sucked

'Cept John Wayne was a Nazi,
Joey Shithead was a drunk.
Then John Macias beat some hippie to a pulp,
'Cuz having long hair was a mistake

The the 3rd time I went to the hospital
I needed 13 stitches in my head

I managed to catch about 6 songs of Ill Repute
Then some suicidal threw me into a post

My girlfriend started to cry cuz we had to leave
Before D.R.I. played 50 lousy songs.

My blood stained shirt smelled of club ciggarettes
But it sure looked pretty cool after a wash