admitthat in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when theycalled me kinda strange
But you'll find that nowadays
I'vemended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a change
AndI fortunately know a little secret
It's a talent that I alwayshave possessed
And dear lady, please don't laugh
I use it onbehalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souls
Inpain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants toget the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poorunfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to mecrying
"Lady help us, lady please!"
And I helpthem!
Yes I do!
The men up there don’t likea lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes,on land it’s much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
Andafter all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
They’re not all thatimpressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when theycan
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On the lady who’swithdrawn
And she who holds her tongue’ll get her man
Poor unfortunate souls
Goahead, make your choice
I’m a very busy person and I haven’tgot all day
It won’t cost much, just your voice
Those poorunfortunate souls
So sad, so true
If you want to cross thebridge, my sweet
You’ve got to pay the toll
Take a gulp andtake a breath
Go ahead and sign the scroll
Nick and Kevin nowI’ve got her boys
The boss in on a roll
Poor unfortunate souls
Inpain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants toget the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poorunfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to mecrying
"Lady help us, lady please!"
And I helpthem!
Yes I do!
Those poor unfortunate souls