I have to clear your table
I wipe it
It’s right to keep it clean
So I clean
Yes – I clean
Do you clean?
Yes – I clean it

I have to empty ashtrays
So I empty them
It’s right to keep them clean
So I clean
Yes – I clean
I’m the queen of the clean

And I’d probably be famous now
If I wasn’t such a good waitress

I am a drag at parties
‘Cuz it upsets me
To see so many empties
And I have to pick them up
Or I have to go home

But sometimes I have nightmares
And the ashtrays are filling up
And I can’t find my section
And the bottles are flying through the air
Like crazy autumn leaves
And I can’t find my section
I lost my section I lost my section
I can’t find it somebody help me please
I am in quicksand
I am in mud to my knees
Help me ...

I have to know the regulars
Well - I don’t have to
But I like to know their names
And I know them even better
When they’re nice to me

And I’d probably be famous now
If I wasn’t such a good waitress