[Zwrotka]
BTake your hands out of your Epockets
Arch your back, puff out your Dchest
Add some swagger to your Egate or
You'll look like a masturbaGmtor
Fix your posture, then the Brest

But I AM a masturbator--
We'll fix that.

[Zwrotka]
All your Enerdiness is ugly

(Nerd? I thought I was more of a geek, but--)
All your stammering's a Dchore

(Wh-wh-what?)
Your tics and fidgets are perEsistent
And your charm is non-Gmexistent
Fix your vibe, then fix some Bmore

Buh
Buh!
I--
Shut!
Wha?
No
Aah!
Stop

[Pre-Chorus]
DOh, Eeverything Aabout you is so Bterrible
DWhoa, Eeverything Aabout you makes me Bwanna die

(Jesus Christ...)

[Refren]
So Edon't freak out
And F#don't resAist
And Ehave no doubt
If F#I assBist
BYou CwilF#l 
CBe more Bchill

[Zwrotka]
BFirst thing's first, Ego buy a new shirt

(What's wrong with my shirt--)

It's better if you just comply
My job's to color your Eaesthetic
And make you seem much less Gmpathetic
Just step and fetch, don't ask me Bwhy

How are you with math homework?
I' m a super-computer, Jeremy.
I'm made of math.


[Pre-Chorus]
DOh, Eeverything Aabout you is so Bterrible
BEverything about you sucks!
BEverything about you sucks!
DWhoa, Eeverything Aabout you makes me Bwanna die
BEverything about you sucks!
BEverything about you sucks!
AAll the Epeople in the Amall
Think you're Bsuch a slob
BYou're a slob!
BTerrible!
BSuch a slob!
And DboEy, can GmI see Bwhy!

(Dialog)
[JEREMY] Sorry...
[CHLOE] ...Jerry?
[JEREMY] Jeremy.
[CHLOE] You shop here?
[JEREMY] Oh, yeah all the time--
[THE SQUIP] Never.
[JEREMY] Never. Is what I meant to...
[THE SQUIP] Greet the beta.
[JEREMY] Oh. Hey, Brooke.
[THE SQUIP] "You look sexy."
[JEREMY] I can't say that to a hot girl!
[THE SQUIP] Don't smile. Stare intensely. Speak like you don't care about your own death.
[JEREMY] Lookin' pretty sexy, Brooke.
[BROOKE] Thanks.
[CHLOE] Is that a girl's shirt?
[JEREMY] No.
[THE SQUIP] "Yes."
[JEREMY] Yes.
[THE SQUIP] Repeat after me--



[Bridge]
AI A#saw it in the window
And I Acouldn't dismiss
AI was dating a Cgirl and
She had a A#shirt just like Dthis
AIt's still Dpainful
A#It's Cstill Gmpainful

[CHLOE] So, who was this mystery girl?
[JEREMY] Oh, you've probably never heard of her, so--
AMadeA#line
AMadeline

[CHLOE] What?

She's GmFrench

[CHLOE] Ugh! She is NOT French! She just pretends to be for attention!
[BROOKE] Madeline broke up with you?
[JEREMY] Yeah...
[THE SQUIP] No.
[JEREMY] I mean--

AI broke up with her
AI broke up with her
A'Cause she was
ACheating on me
A'Cause she was
ACheating onA# meC  Gm   A 

[Outro]
Hey, Hamlet. ABe more Dchill.