You can find me over there at the bar
You ain't even gotta ask
I don't know where they are
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
And I'm nasty
And I still ain't callin it quits
But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy

Sittin at the bar just minding my biz
I came down with all nine of my kids
And they all got an attitude
Mad cause I said we can't go to the zoo
It's not a lie
But daddys too high
If I drive, I will probably catch a DUI
Here, play with this pitcher of beer
Sit in there chairs, and don't disappear
Everybody on your best behavior
Tip the waitress, respect your neighbors
I'll be watchin
You know what not to do
Don't make me walk over here
Just to talk to you
I gave em all some money
So they could play pinball and put
grub in they tummies
Now Imma go get bombed
And you better not tell your mom
And like clockwork, soon as I stepped away
You know they got worse
They didn't hesitate
Of course they start with the horseplay
And then it escalates
Then you get a court case
Little Sluggos
Thugs and cutthroats
Big trouble, cigarettes, puff those
Smash bottles on the floor and
Writing graffiti, fighting with the door man
Playin with switchblades and matches
Pick pocketin the cash and the plastic
Gettin high out back by the trashcans
Tryin to get the waitress to give a lapdance
I can't control em
So Imma pretend I don't know em
Now let me celebrate and get drunk
Cause my wife missed her period again this month

You can find me over there at the bar
You ain't even gotta ask, I don't know where they are
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
And I'm nasty
And I still ain't callin it quits
But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
Somebody slap me